I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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