Buhtt sex?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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