There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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