i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
