absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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