Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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