If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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