So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
