im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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