I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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