I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
