I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
