My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
