fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
