You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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