Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize