Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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