that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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