the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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