Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
