he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
