Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
