The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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