i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
