She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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