I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
