matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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