you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
