You really coming over, don't trick.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
