North Korea, Best Korea!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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