You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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