have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize