a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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