my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
