Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
