Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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