Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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