He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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