: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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