I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can I color on your dick again?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
