i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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