im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
