You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
