the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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