don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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