When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize