I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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