your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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