Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
