a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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