Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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