She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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