summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
