I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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