Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize