found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
