By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
